My DIY wedding breakdown—and the healing breakthrough that followed

From Perfectionism to Presence: How My Wedding Day Transformed Me

Two years ago, I married my husband in the mountains, surrounded by the beauty of nature and the love of our closest friends and family. After eleven years together, it was incredible to celebrate our relationship with a formal ceremony.

The venue was breathtaking—tall trees, fresh mountain air, and the peacefulness of being tucked away from the world. But in the months leading up to the wedding, I felt overwhelmed by the stress of planning an entirely DIY event.

Despite the stress and many moving parts, the day exceeded my imagination, filled with joy and love.

It also uncovered parts of myself I thought I had healed—my perfectionism, need for control, and anxiety. What I expected to be simply a deepening of my relationship turned into a deeply healing milestone for me personally.

My wedding day became a powerful lesson in letting go, being present, and opening myself to love and possibilities beyond what I had envisioned.

The Stress of DIY Wedding Planning

Wedding planning is tough for most, and for me, it unearthed parts of myself I thought I had already “moved on from” in some significant ways. Definitely not.

As a first-time event planner of this magnitude, I’ll be honest. I completely under-estimated the insanely huge effort it would take to plan a complete DIY wedding.

From bringing in potable water and figuring out how to electrify the venue, to making hundreds of tiny decisions, I was beyond stressed and overwhelmed by the end of it all.

On top of that, we later discovered that a massive bike race would nearly fully shut down the only winding, mountainous highway to our venue. I had been managing everything—flowers, food, vendors, and constantly shifting COVID restrictions—on my own. My perfectionism had taken over, and my stress became all-consuming.

Side note: the agreement with my lovely husband is that he would pretty much take on all domestic/cleaning duties while I took on the majority of the wedding planning, but of course, we both jumped into support each other along the way ;)

A Moment of Deep Inner Transformation

But on the morning of my wedding, something shifted.

And as I stood at the altar, in front of my loved ones, surrounded by towering trees, the stress and chaos faded away. My perfectionism, anxiety, and my need to control every detail—they all melted in that moment. Instead, I felt present—truly present for the first time in what felt like months.

I realized at a cellular level that it didn’t matter if everything wasn’t perfectly executed or if certain choices had upset someone along the way. I was free to just be myself and let things unfold naturally.

I let go of the expectations I’d held so tightly and embraced what was happening, regardless of how it matched the original plan. The peace and joy I felt were beyond anything I could have imagined.

That shift was more than just about the wedding—it was a pivotal moment in my own journey.

In the middle of one of the most overwhelming experiences of my life, I was able to let go of old behaviours and simply be. It showed me how healing is often revealed, again, and again.

And it was a helpful reminder that our being, is so much more important than our doing in this lifetime.

The Power of Letting Go

My wedding day reminded me of something else profound: change doesn’t boil down to a single event or a one-time cross of a finish line.

We don’t just check off the “I’m healed” box and move on. Change is a process that evolves over time, often surfacing during the most stressful and overwhelming moments. It’s in these times that life offers us opportunities to grow, if we’re willing and ready to embrace them.

Though I believed I’d healed certain aspects of myself, planning this wedding resurfaced patterns I thought I had outgrown—a pattern of making things “perfect,” the belief that I can “control” all variables, and anxiety around revealing all parts of my authentic self.

Looking back, I see how this experience reflected areas where I still needed growth. It was life’s way of showing me where I had more work to do to find peace.

This experience was a powerful reminder that real magic happens when we release our grip, stop trying to control every detail, and allow ourselves to be fully present.

Letting go of perfectionism and control doesn’t mean everything becomes perfect; it means creating space to experience things as they are, with all the joy and love they bring.

For me, letting go allowed me to experience my wedding day in a way that was deeply authentic to who I am, not just the image I had in mind. It showed me that by being fully present and true to myself, I could truly savour the moment, no matter how it unfolded.

An Invitation for You

I share this story because I know how easy it is to get lost in the cycle of stress, anxiety, and perfectionism. Especially when the stakes are high—your career, an ambitious project, or similar.

When you’re trying so hard to make everything perfect, it’s easy to miss the joy that’s right in front of you. But I also know the peace that comes when you finally let go and allow yourself to be fully present.

If you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or weighed down by the need to control every aspect of your life, I invite you to join me for an initial and powerful coaching conversation.

Together, we can explore what’s standing in the way of the experiences you desire and work through the saboteurs that are keeping you from the life you truly want.

Change is a journey, and it becomes much easier when you’re present and receive support along the way. I’d be happy to guide you if that’s a fit for you right now.